Thursday, October 27, 2005

Are you FLIPPIN Serious

Ok so I haven't had much time to post anything and/or I haven't seen or heard anything worth mentioning. However here are a few things.

1. Rome bans goldfish bowls. Seriously? I had to read the article twice just to believe what I was reading. Apparently animal rights activist (PETA you suck) have clained that putting goldfish in bowls makes them go blind. They have also banned giving away fish or other animals at carnivals as prizes. Does anyone else besides me see a mental issue with these activist. It is a DAMN GOLDFISH for crying out loud. All they do is swim, eat, and crap. Even if someone can show me proof that they actually go blind I still wouldn't give a rats ass. If you are that worried about a flippin goldfish you really need to get your head checked.

2. First lady Laura Bush said that people are more likely to get jobs if they avoid drugs, alcohol and tattoos. Holy crap are you for real !!!!!!! If you are an alcoholic or drug addict then you will be less likely to get a job than someone who is clean. What a concept !!!! Did you figure that one out by yourself or did you waste taxpayers money by have a entire slew of staff on this study.

3. Joe Morgan's commented that the reason the Astros lost was due to not having any black Americans on our team. That is the most ignorant thing I have ever heard. It is almost as bad as banning fish bowls. The Astros have some blacks on their team. They might be from latin America or the islands but they are still black. Just because they were not from America doesn't mean crap. If you want quotas on baseball teams then I want quotas on basketball teams sucka.

Anyway, I am prooud of my Astros. Good fight and a great ride all year. I'm out

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Another Sad Day

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr.
Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that
life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. - Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from
school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that
a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was
awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is
survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you
still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority and do nothing.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Shame

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it
is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost
went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.

They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

Friday, October 07, 2005

THH

Ok, so yesterday my wife read this blog. She was not aware of why I started it. So I explained it was in opposition to a colleague of mine who is more liberal than I am. She also asked if there was anything on here about "Tree Hugging Hippies" THH for short. Because she knows well how much I love THH's. I thougt to myself why no, no there isn't. So here it is. Now not all the points are aimed at each and every THH because I don't believe they can be all lumped together.

Dear THH

Please see below my opinions on some issues.

1. PETA - you suck. Do you not have anything better to do? I don't believe in beating the crap out of my dog or anything. But I do believe that it is perfectly ok to hunt and fish. It's called population control. That is why there are limits to how many deer, duck, fish, etc. you can shoot or catch per day.
2. I see no problem driving a big truck or SUV. If you can afford the gas then you should be able to drive whatever you want. If you bring up the point of "global warming" like I know you will, then I would say look back in the geologic records of the past 4 billion years. There are always periods of global cooling (ice ages) and global warming. It is a cycle. So ladies, go ahead and keep using that aerosol hair spray.
3. You don't like the war, fine, that is your opinion. However, don't give the enemy any propaganda that can be used against our troops.
4. Freedom in the US is great. If we are so bad you have the Freedom to get the hell out. Try France.
5. A good ass whooping never hurt anyone. If your kid acts up, smack them. They will learn what they did was wrong. Sitting in time out is a joke. Then the kid learns that no matter what they do the worst thing is they will have to be in "time out". Wow !!! Scary !!!
6. A year or so ago some THH's said that teachers should not write grades in the color red as it might offend some students. GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK !!!!! Are you flippin' serious. An "A" is an "A" and a "F" is a "F" no matter what color you write it in. If you got a "F" you better study harder next time.

That is all for now. I am sure that I will have more later. IF this offends you then go read something somewhere else.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Rebel or Yank

http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/yankee_dixie_quiz.html

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Sad but true

A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama today when he
challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has
a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded
custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations
requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy
surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his
parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then
suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they
also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and
learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them,
the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who
should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references
and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary
custody to the Houston Texans, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable
of beating anyone.