Ok so I said I was tired of the political crap, and I am. However the following are pissing me off.
1. We have a new MLS team here in Houston. The name they decided was Houston 1836. This follows the tradition of some of the teams in Europe who name their teams after the year the team was founded, the city was founded or whatever. 1836 was the year Houston was founded. It also happens to be the year that Texas won its independance from Mexico. Now a bunch of Mexicans are crying saying that the name is offensive. Give me a flippin break. I am an American. I am a Texan and proud of it. We are not in Mexico. We won our independance and were even our own Republic prior to joining the states. This name is for city and state pride. Its a damn name. It's not like we are saying, "Ha Ha we won in 1836 na na boo boo" What the hell ever. If you don't like it go cry somewhere else and don't support the team. And if it pisses you off that much then move back to Mexico !!!!
2. The city of Houston is looking at putting up cameras at stop lights in the downtown area to catch red light runners. I don't like it but ok. Now the ACLU is crying about it. Can someone please explain what civil liberties this violates. You are in public and breaking the law. Hey I have an idea.....don't run the flippin red light!!!!!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
I'm Back
Well I am back from my 1st year anniversary. We had a great time in Philadelphia. It was damn cold though. Not the same cold you get in Texas. This cold would go all the way through your body. Lows were in the teens !!!!
Anyway, we saw the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. Those were cool. Security was tight we saw this one guy almost get totally strip searched. We also went to Atlantic City for an evening. It was fun. Lost money but had a great time.
Anyway we had a great trip and its back to the grind tomorrow.
Laters
Anyway, we saw the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. Those were cool. Security was tight we saw this one guy almost get totally strip searched. We also went to Atlantic City for an evening. It was fun. Lost money but had a great time.
Anyway we had a great trip and its back to the grind tomorrow.
Laters
Saturday, February 11, 2006
sleeping at work
TEN BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK
10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about
in the time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got
here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new business strategy."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related
stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to
handle that big accounting problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you
put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"
And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught
sleeping at your desk!
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."
10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about
in the time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got
here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new business strategy."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related
stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to
handle that big accounting problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you
put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?!?"
And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught
sleeping at your desk!
1. Raise your head slowly and say, "...in Jesus name, Amen."
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Welcome to the party
My wife sent this to me and just had to post it. Keep in mind my wife is way more liberal than I am (she liked living in California for God's sake) but she is coming around.
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so
many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal
Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch
Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that
she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she
felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to
keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher
taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs.
The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be
the truth and she indicated so to her father.
He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and
let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was
taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which
left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She
didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many
college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"
She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy
classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so
popular on campus, college for her is a blast. She's always invited to
all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes
because she's too hung over."
Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's
office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your
friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and
certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily
fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my
grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has
done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my
tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the
Republican Party"
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so
many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal
Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch
Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that
she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she
felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to
keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher
taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs.
The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be
the truth and she indicated so to her father.
He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and
let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was
taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which
left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She
didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many
college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"
She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy
classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so
popular on campus, college for her is a blast. She's always invited to
all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes
because she's too hung over."
Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's
office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your
friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and
certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily
fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my
grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has
done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my
tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the
Republican Party"
Saturday, February 04, 2006
2006
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e- mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home
to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e- mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home
to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Duck Lease
Ok so I really enjoy waterfowl hunting. So I am looking for a lease in the Southeast Texas or Katy prairie area. If anyone knows of one let me know. I am just getting more serious in it so I have a lot to learn and a lot of equipment to buy.
WoW
First I would like to say Happy Anniversary to my cuz and his wife. 5 yrs already !!! Awesome !!!!
My one year is coming up in 2 weeks !!!! Holy crap !!!!
My one year is coming up in 2 weeks !!!! Holy crap !!!!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
DSL
Hello All
Well in case any of you care I got my DSL line for the house today. I should have had it last week but thanks to the "brown" my modem was delivered to some random address. It was a breeze to hook up and install. And the connection is pretty damn fast. Peace out fools.
Well in case any of you care I got my DSL line for the house today. I should have had it last week but thanks to the "brown" my modem was delivered to some random address. It was a breeze to hook up and install. And the connection is pretty damn fast. Peace out fools.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
Everyone remember those skits on Saturday Night Live. I loved them. Here are a few.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.
One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh. Because I didn't know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!
If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
More to come ....
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.
Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.
One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh. Because I didn't know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me.
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what IS that thing?!
If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture.
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
More to come ....
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