Who the hell is this group from Kansas that holds signs and protest at the funerals of military personel stating that the death is because God is mad at the US for their tolerance of homosexuals. These people are complete crackpots and need to be picked up by the men in the white clothes with the padded wagon. Whether you agree with the war, support the troops or not you still should leave the family and friends alone when they are at the funeral. You shouldn't hold up signs that "God Hates You" to the funeral procession. Find a hobby or something. Or maybe just get out of that cult.
Maybe the military should assign an escort with a 50 cal mounted to the top of the vehicle to clear the way of these idiots before the funeral comes through.
You want to protest the war or anything else fine. I am ok with that. That is one of the freedoms that those soldiers died for. But leave the funerals alone. They are already going through enough pain of having to bury a loved one and your dumbass is out there holding up stupid signs telling them how much god hates them because of the US tolerance. Give me a damn break.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Enron
Yeah !!!!! The Enron morons were found GUILTY.
That company destroyed a lot of people lives. Send them to the chair !!!!
That company destroyed a lot of people lives. Send them to the chair !!!!
Things to Ponder
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world.A pessimist fears this is true.
There will always be death and taxes;however, death doesn't get worse every year.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I am a nutritional overachiever.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
A day without sunshine is like night.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers,but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.Sometimes it comes alone.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks this is the best possible world.A pessimist fears this is true.
There will always be death and taxes;however, death doesn't get worse every year.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
I am a nutritional overachiever.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.
A day without sunshine is like night.
It's frustrating when you know all the answers,but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.Sometimes it comes alone.
Public Service Announcement
Don't forget to pay your taxes
12 Million ILLEGAL Immigrants are depending on you !!!!!
12 Million ILLEGAL Immigrants are depending on you !!!!!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Not in Texas
Broke Back In Texas
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she
just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and
noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider
on top, Daddy?" she asked.
That's a Daddy Long legs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Long legs? " the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Long legs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them flat and said "Well, it might be OK in California or
Massachusetts, but we're not having any of that shit in Texas."
A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she
just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and
noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two
spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider
on top, Daddy?" she asked.
That's a Daddy Long legs." Her father answered.
"So, the other one is Mommy Long legs? " the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Long legs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them flat and said "Well, it might be OK in California or
Massachusetts, but we're not having any of that shit in Texas."
Chili Cook off
Annual Chili Cook Off held in San Antonio, Texas
If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. Please take the time to read this slowly.
If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."
* Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is this chili an aphrodisiac?
*****************************************************
CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty! , strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
***************! **************************************
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. Please take the time to read this slowly.
If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."
* Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 - Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge #2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is this chili an aphrodisiac?
*****************************************************
CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty! , strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
*****************************************************
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
***************! **************************************
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
About my Grandfather
We called my grandfather bepaw or beeps as he later would be known as. Here are a few of my memories that I will keep forever.
When we were young my grandfather would slip me and my brothers a dollar or so each. He would say this is "walk around money." When you are walking around and need some money just reach into your pocket and there is your dollar. When he would take us to Champions Golf Club my brothers and I were allowed to go into the mens locker room with him. We thought we were big stuff then because only men were allowed into the locker room. He would sit us at the bar and let us order some lemonade. That use to be the sweetest lemonade I can ever remember tasting. One of his most famous lines that you could verify with any of his grandchildren is "Don't slam the door!!!" Every time we would be at their house and one of the kids would come in or go out you would always hear Beeps yell "Don't slam the door!!!" (especially if Alabama football was playing)
He always had great stories. Sometimes he would start laughing in the middle of the story just thinking about it and have a hard time finishing. He use to tell this story about when he was a cook on a ship in WWII they had to hold the crackers up to the light to check for weavels. He said they would just flick the weavels out and serve the crackers. Not very appetizing I know but it always struck me funny.
My grandfather was a true salesman. I believe he could sell a desert nomad some sand. He told me the story of how when he walked into the meeting to sell the land for Willowbrook Mall the buyer had all these lawyers and other people. They asked hime when his people would be there and he simply replied that the deals he made were done on a hand shake and that was all. No lawyers or other "fuddy duddies" needed. Another story he would tell was about when he use to sell appliances. He was driving down this long road and passed the workers as they were putting in electric poles. He pulled up to a little house and sold this old couple a washing machine and an ice box. They didn't have any power yet but they bought it from him anyway. He always had business deals going even when he was well into his 80's. A few years ago when one of the times that he was in the hospital my wife and I went to see him. He had the ladies leave the room so he and I could talk. What did we talk about? Business and his current deals he was working on of course. He complained about how he really needed to get out of the hospital because he had work to do. When my company moved me into outside sales he use to tell me to take a notebook with me in the car. When I would finish a meeting go back to the car and write down everything. He said to pay particular attention to items on the persons desk or on the walls. That way I could probably find out if they like golf, fishing, baseball or whatever. Then the next time I talked to or saw them I could ask about their hobby. Well I did this on every sales call and it is a great way to help build a relationship with a customer. It shows you are not only talking to them for the business but are interested in them personally. One of my proudest days is when I closed my first account. I called him and told him that evening. I was excited. He was excited for me as well. He also asked me what was on the persons desk and I told him. He laughed and said "that's my boy." I will never forget how happy he sounded for me and for him. I think he was proud to have one of his grandsons following in his sales footsteps. There are many mores stories I could tell but will save those for another day. If I know my grandfather he is sitting near the inside of the pearly gates of heaven watching Alabama football and telling everyone as they come in "Don't slam the Gates!!!!"
Beeps,
We love you and miss you.
Tom & all of your grandchildren
ROOOOOOLLLLLLLL TIDE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When we were young my grandfather would slip me and my brothers a dollar or so each. He would say this is "walk around money." When you are walking around and need some money just reach into your pocket and there is your dollar. When he would take us to Champions Golf Club my brothers and I were allowed to go into the mens locker room with him. We thought we were big stuff then because only men were allowed into the locker room. He would sit us at the bar and let us order some lemonade. That use to be the sweetest lemonade I can ever remember tasting. One of his most famous lines that you could verify with any of his grandchildren is "Don't slam the door!!!" Every time we would be at their house and one of the kids would come in or go out you would always hear Beeps yell "Don't slam the door!!!" (especially if Alabama football was playing)
He always had great stories. Sometimes he would start laughing in the middle of the story just thinking about it and have a hard time finishing. He use to tell this story about when he was a cook on a ship in WWII they had to hold the crackers up to the light to check for weavels. He said they would just flick the weavels out and serve the crackers. Not very appetizing I know but it always struck me funny.
My grandfather was a true salesman. I believe he could sell a desert nomad some sand. He told me the story of how when he walked into the meeting to sell the land for Willowbrook Mall the buyer had all these lawyers and other people. They asked hime when his people would be there and he simply replied that the deals he made were done on a hand shake and that was all. No lawyers or other "fuddy duddies" needed. Another story he would tell was about when he use to sell appliances. He was driving down this long road and passed the workers as they were putting in electric poles. He pulled up to a little house and sold this old couple a washing machine and an ice box. They didn't have any power yet but they bought it from him anyway. He always had business deals going even when he was well into his 80's. A few years ago when one of the times that he was in the hospital my wife and I went to see him. He had the ladies leave the room so he and I could talk. What did we talk about? Business and his current deals he was working on of course. He complained about how he really needed to get out of the hospital because he had work to do. When my company moved me into outside sales he use to tell me to take a notebook with me in the car. When I would finish a meeting go back to the car and write down everything. He said to pay particular attention to items on the persons desk or on the walls. That way I could probably find out if they like golf, fishing, baseball or whatever. Then the next time I talked to or saw them I could ask about their hobby. Well I did this on every sales call and it is a great way to help build a relationship with a customer. It shows you are not only talking to them for the business but are interested in them personally. One of my proudest days is when I closed my first account. I called him and told him that evening. I was excited. He was excited for me as well. He also asked me what was on the persons desk and I told him. He laughed and said "that's my boy." I will never forget how happy he sounded for me and for him. I think he was proud to have one of his grandsons following in his sales footsteps. There are many mores stories I could tell but will save those for another day. If I know my grandfather he is sitting near the inside of the pearly gates of heaven watching Alabama football and telling everyone as they come in "Don't slam the Gates!!!!"
Beeps,
We love you and miss you.
Tom & all of your grandchildren
ROOOOOOLLLLLLLL TIDE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My Grandfather
PATRICK NICHOLAS MORGAN, 88, of Houston, died Friday, May 12, 2006, at his home in the company of his family. Pat was born on December 17, 1917, in Lackawanna, NY, the eldest son of Saverio and Maria Morgan who emigrated from Italy at the turn of the 20th century. Pat was a proud graduate of the University of Alabama, Class of 1939, with a Bachelor's degree in Electrical Engineering. He was an avid, lifelong fan of the Crimson Tide. In his job with the Tennessee Valley Authority, he met his future wife, the former Helen Rockwell. Following their marriage on June 9, 1942, he served as an officer with the U.S. Navy Seabees during WWII in the 5th and 143rd Battalions in the southwest Pacific. Throughout the 1940's and 1950's, Pat's sales career took him to Cincinnati, Philadelphia, and Chattanooga, where he became President of First Flight Golf Co. In 1959, Pat moved to Texas at the invitation of golf pros Jimmy Demaret and Jack Burke to develop real estate surrounding a new golf club in a remote area 30 miles northwest of Houston on a little two-lane country road, FM 1960. Pat's energy and unbounded optimism were a driving force behind the success of what would eventually become the world-class Champions Golf Club and the phenomenal growth in what is now known as the 1960 area. As noted by sports writer Mickey Herskowitz in an article for the Houston Post on August 25, 1993, developing the course on Cypress Creek and the surrounding real estate "wasn't an easy sell, but the money they made went back into the club and in the `70s they rode the boom. In truth, they helped create it." Pat is preceded in death by his parents, sisters Angie and Theresa Morgan and Ann Hassett, brothers Carl, Ed and Mike Morgan, and grandson Seth Morgan. He is survived by his wife of 64 years, Helen Rockwell Morgan, children and their spouses, Scott and Margaret Morgan of Houston, Beth and Drew Black of Folsom, CA, Jack and Carole Morgan of Houston, Melissa and George Tooley of Katy, sister and brother-in-law Sue and Robert Derham of Skaneateles, NY, 10 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren and numerous nieces and nephews. Pallbearers will be his eight grandsons, Daniel, Thomas, Nicholas, Andrew and Griffin Morgan, Keegan and Jared Tooley, and Morgan Black. Granddaughters Meredith Black and Kaelin Tooley will be lectors for his Rite of Christian Burial Mass. Visitation will be from 6-8 P.M., with a Rosary at 7:00 P.M Monday, May 15, 2006 at Earthman Hunter's Creek, 8303 Katy Freeway, Houston. Funeral Mass 1:30 P.M. on Tuesday at St. Cyril of Alexandria, 10503 Westheimer, Houston. Interment will take place at Memorial Oaks Cemetery. For those who so desire, memorial contributions can be made to the Mercy Home For Boys and Girls, 1140 West Jackson Blvd, Chicago, IL 60607-2980.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Idiot
I am 12% Idiot.
I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people. Trip to Mexico
Dear President Bush: I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this. I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy. I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P. Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
David M. Bresnahan
2006 David M. Bresnahan - All Rights Reserved
David M. Bresnahan has over 30 years of experience as an award-winning journalist, broadcaster, radio station owner, talk show host, and business owner. David has been a prominent writer for many Internet newspapers.
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy. I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely. However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your V.P. Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely,
David M. Bresnahan
2006 David M. Bresnahan - All Rights Reserved
David M. Bresnahan has over 30 years of experience as an award-winning journalist, broadcaster, radio station owner, talk show host, and business owner. David has been a prominent writer for many Internet newspapers.
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