Monday, March 26, 2007
update
for all of those who are checking this blog and then Madison's , for some reason it will not let me upload pictures. Will try again soon
What I have learned
This is just a brief list of what I have learned in the first few months of being a dad.
1. Sleeping is a luxury
2. Having both parents there to take care of the child makes a world of difference
3. It really does break your heart to see and hear your baby cry
4. You can't help but smile when your baby starts to smile at you
5. The expressions on your baby's face will make you smile and laugh every time
6. Changing diapers is not so bad
7. The colors pink and purple are so bad either
8. Knowing that a child is really a miracle
9. The baby is always perfect when the grandparents are around
10.I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much
11. I never knew I could love someone so much
12. It is the greatest feeling when your baby falls asleep on your chest
Here are a couple I had to learn the hard way.
1. When mixing formula with hot water in a jug with a cap, if you shake to much it will explode
2. Just because you open the diaper and the baby starts to pee doesn't mean that is all she has to go while you are in the middle of changing
I know there will be a lot more stuff yet to learn and as I get time I will try to post some more.
1. Sleeping is a luxury
2. Having both parents there to take care of the child makes a world of difference
3. It really does break your heart to see and hear your baby cry
4. You can't help but smile when your baby starts to smile at you
5. The expressions on your baby's face will make you smile and laugh every time
6. Changing diapers is not so bad
7. The colors pink and purple are so bad either
8. Knowing that a child is really a miracle
9. The baby is always perfect when the grandparents are around
10.I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much
11. I never knew I could love someone so much
12. It is the greatest feeling when your baby falls asleep on your chest
Here are a couple I had to learn the hard way.
1. When mixing formula with hot water in a jug with a cap, if you shake to much it will explode
2. Just because you open the diaper and the baby starts to pee doesn't mean that is all she has to go while you are in the middle of changing
I know there will be a lot more stuff yet to learn and as I get time I will try to post some more.
TO BE 6 AGAIN!
TO BE 6 AGAIN
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed,
observing his wife turning back
and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off, he asked
what she'd like to have for her Birthday.
I'd like to be six again, she replied, still
looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early,
made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms,
and then took her to Six Flags
theme park. What a day ! He put her on every
ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything
there was. Five hours Later they staggered out
of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her
stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he
ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop,
and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure ! Finally she
wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and
lovingly asked, Well Dear,
what was it like being six again ??
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression
suddenly changed.
I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass !!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is
listening, he is going to get it wrong.
Be a PS3 game guru.
Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo! Games.
Bridge to Hawaii
A man was riding his Harley along a
California beach when suddenly the sky
California beach when suddenly the sky
clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because
you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride
over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will
nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for
me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and
think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I
wish that I and all men could understand our wives; I want to know how she
feels inside.., what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment.., why she cries.., what she means when she says: "Nothing's
wrong".., and how I can make a woman truly happy!"
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one
wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride
over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous
bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will
nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for
me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and
think of something that could possibly help mankind."
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I
wish that I and all men could understand our wives; I want to know how she
feels inside.., what she's thinking when she gives me the silent
treatment.., why she cries.., what she means when she says: "Nothing's
wrong".., and how I can make a woman truly happy!"
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
The fish are biting.
Get more visitors on your site using Yahoo! Search Marketing.
Kentucky
A man walked into a bar in Louisville, Kentucky and
ordered a drink. While he was sitting at the bar watching T.V., one of
Hillary's political ads came on. After it went off, he stood up and announced to
everyone, "Hillary is a horse's ass!"
The bartender reached under the bar and brought out
an oak club about 18 inches long and hit the man square across the mouth,
knocking him off his stool and onto the floor.
After a minute or two, the man got up, straightened
himself up and said to the bartender, "I'm sorry. I didn't know this was
Hillary country." "It's not!" replied the bartender. "This is horse country!"
Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check.
Try the Yahoo! Mail Beta.
ATM Machines
MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM
machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined
below when accessing their accounts."
"After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been
developed.
Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
> **********************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver; waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM
machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their
vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined
below when accessing their accounts."
"After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been
developed.
Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
> **********************************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary; with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver; waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast
with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut.
Houston
You know you're from Houston when...
You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven't left your neighborhood.)
Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not theyear.
The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.
If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to Randall's Flagship, Rice Epicurean Market or a Kroger's Signature.
You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you know hejust stepped in a fire ant bed.
You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of theWorld.
You come to work in short-sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a cold front has blown through, and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes.
You wander into a section of town where you can't read the streetsigns but you don't care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there.
You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two cross-dressers on roller blades, holding hands.
You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window-shop.
You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.
You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.
You've never seen I-45 in any condition other than under-construction-- and you've lived here for 20-30 years.
If the humidity is below 90 percent, it's a good hair day.
The only real Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has.
You see nothing unusual about an 80-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, EYE-witness news" into a television camera every night.
You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits. (During rush hour, you haven't left your neighborhood.)
Spring is not the season, Katy is not the lady, and 1960 is not theyear.
The "farm-to-market" roads have seven lanes.
If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to Randall's Flagship, Rice Epicurean Market or a Kroger's Signature.
You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
When you see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, you know hejust stepped in a fire ant bed.
You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of theWorld.
You come to work in short-sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a cold front has blown through, and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes.
You wander into a section of town where you can't read the streetsigns but you don't care because you can get great prices on fake designer merchandise there.
You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two cross-dressers on roller blades, holding hands.
You hear everything but English spoken when you go to the Galleria to window-shop.
You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.
You think "Y'all" is perfectly good usage if you're referring to more than one person.
You've never seen I-45 in any condition other than under-construction-- and you've lived here for 20-30 years.
If the humidity is below 90 percent, it's a good hair day.
The only real Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has.
You see nothing unusual about an 80-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white toupee and blue sunglasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams, "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, EYE-witness news" into a television camera every night.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Immigration laws
Interesrting!!! ------- HARSH YOU SAY?? There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools, no special ballots for elections, all government business will be conducted in our language. Foreigners will NOT have the right to vote no matter how long they are here. Foreigners will NEVER be able to hold political office. Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food stamps, no health care, or other government assistance programs. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount equal to 40,000 times the daily minimum wage. If foreigners do come and want to buy land that will be okay, BUT options will be restricted. You are not allowed waterfront property. That is reserved for citizens naturally born into this country. Foreigners may not protest; no demonstrations, no waving a foreign flag, no political organizing, no bad-mouthing our president or his policies, if you do you will be sent home. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be hunted down and sent straight to jail. Harsh, you say?................. The above laws happen to be the immigration laws of " MEXICO " !
funny
>Last Tuesday, as President Bush got off the helicopter in front of the>White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.>>The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says:>"Nice pigs, sir.">>The President replies "These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas>Razorback Hogs. I got one for Senator Hillary Clinton and I got one for>Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi.">>The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and says,>"Excellent trade, sir."
Jesus and teh Democrat
A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and askedthe waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across therestaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitressnodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup ofcoffee, on him.The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. Heshuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for acup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is thatJesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to giveJesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat.The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. Hehobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How'sabout gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light?" He, too, looked across therestaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once morenodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. "Onmy bill," he said.As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him andsaid,"For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strengthcome back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For yourkindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up,and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips outthe door.Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled,"Don't touch me! I'm on disability!"
Jesse Jackson
Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all.
Jesse drank the concoction and replied, "God, that tasted like bull s---!"
The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately.
After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all.
Jesse drank the concoction and replied, "God, that tasted like bull s---!"
The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."
Sand and Stone
TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKINGTHROUGH THE DESERT.DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD ANARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIENDSLAPPED THE OTHER ONEIN THE FACE. THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPEDWAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,WROTE IN THE SAND:TODAY MY BEST FRIENDSLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.THEY KEPT ON WALKING,UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,WHERE THEY DECIDEDTO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THEMIRE ! AND STARTED DROWNING,BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.AFTER HE RECOVERED FROMTHE NEAR DROWNING,HE WROTE ON A STONE:"TODAY MY BEST FRIENDSAVED MY LIFE ".THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIENDASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"THE FRIEND REPLIED"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS USWE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OFFORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOESSOMETHING GOOD FOR US,WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONEWHERE NO WINDCAN EVER ERASE IT."LEARN TO WRITEYOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TOCARVE YOURBENEFITS IN STONE.THEY SAY IT TAKES AMINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,
AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,
A DAY TO LOVE THEM,
BUT THENAN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.
AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,
A DAY TO LOVE THEM,
BUT THENAN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.
Simple Math
This will Mess With Your Head.
3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30, SOEACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM.
A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25, SOHE SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5.
ON THE WAY, THE BELLBOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLYBETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER $2 FORHIMSELF.
THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTAL OF$27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29.
WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?
3 MEN GO INTO A MOTEL. THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK SAID THE ROOM IS $30, SOEACH MAN PAID $10 AND WENT TO THE ROOM.
A WHILE LATER THE MAN BEHIND THE DESK REALIZED THE ROOM WAS ONLY $25, SOHE SENT THE BELLBOY TO THE 3 GUYS' ROOM WITH $5.
ON THE WAY, THE BELLBOY COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPLIT $5 EVENLYBETWEEN 3 MEN, SO HE GAVE EACH MAN A $1 AND KEPT THE OTHER $2 FORHIMSELF.
THIS MEANT THAT THE 3 MEN EACH PAID $9 FOR THE ROOM, WHICH IS A TOTAL OF$27, ADD THE $2 THAT THE BELLBOY KEPT = $29.
WHERE IS THE OTHER DOLLAR?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Texas History for January
January 1, 1863 - Confederate troops reclaimed Galveston harbor, the most important port in Texas, at the Battle of Galveston.
January 2, 1888 - The Daily-Times Herald published its first issue after the merger of the two Dallas newspapers, the Daily Times and the Daily Herald.
January 3, 1962 - Ground was broken to begin the building of the Astrodome in Houston, the first fully air-conditioned, enclosed, domed, multipurpose sports stadium in the world.
January 4, 1789 - Birthday of Benjamin Lundy, antislavery advocate who planned to create a colony of free blacks in Texas. His plans were interrupted by the Texas Revolution.
January 5, 1829 - Thomas S. Gathright, first president of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas (now Texas A&M University), was born in Monroe County, Georgia.
January 6, 1808 - Hero of the Alamo, Albert Martin, was born in Providence Rhode Island. Martin served Texas as one of the “Old Eighteen” defenders of the “Come take it cannon” in Gonzales.
January 7, 1892 - The agreement between The Galveston, La Porte and Houston Railway was chartered to build the two-mile bridge across Galveston Bay.
January 8, 1910 - German born school teacher/inventor Jacob Brodbeck , considered by many to be the first man to fly in an airplane, passed away. Almost 40 years before the Wright brothers, Brodbeck created what he termed an "airship" and attempted flight in Luckenbach on Septmeber 20, 1865. The airship, with a rudder, wings, and a water propeller powered by coiled springs in case of accidental landings on water, featured an enclosed space for the "aeronaut", a compass, and a barometer. Though no official records exist, the airship is said to have managed to lift off from the ground above 12 feet and fly a distance of about 100 feet before the coil came unwound and the ship crashed into a chicken coup injuring the inventor. Brodbeck's other before-their-time inventions: an ice-making machine (in 1869) and a self-winding clock. For more information please fly to www.texaslesstravelled.com.
January 9, 1907- Cordelia Sloan married Robert Duke, a foreman and later general manager of the XIT ranch. She became the first woman game warden in Texas in the 1920s.
January 10, 1929 - María de Hernández helped found the Orden Caballeros de América, an organization to advance civic and political causes for Mexican-Americans and immigrants in San Antonio.
January 11, 1954 - Hernández v. the State of Texas was brought before the Supreme Court, which reversed the murder conviction of Pete Hernández because no Hispanics had served on the jury.
January 12, 1875 - Crockett County was formed, and was named after the Alamo hero David Crockett.
January 13, 1871 - José Antonio Navarro, a leading Mexican participant in the Texas Revolution, and one of three Mexican signers of the Texas Declaration of Independence, passed away.
January 14, 1836 - Wiliam McDowell was sworn into the Texas Army. He rode to San Antonio with David Crockett and later died in the battle of the Alamo.
January 15, 1841 - The initial Houston and Austin Turnpike Company was chartered to lay out a road from Austin to Houston.
January 2, 1888 - The Daily-Times Herald published its first issue after the merger of the two Dallas newspapers, the Daily Times and the Daily Herald.
January 3, 1962 - Ground was broken to begin the building of the Astrodome in Houston, the first fully air-conditioned, enclosed, domed, multipurpose sports stadium in the world.
January 4, 1789 - Birthday of Benjamin Lundy, antislavery advocate who planned to create a colony of free blacks in Texas. His plans were interrupted by the Texas Revolution.
January 5, 1829 - Thomas S. Gathright, first president of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas (now Texas A&M University), was born in Monroe County, Georgia.
January 6, 1808 - Hero of the Alamo, Albert Martin, was born in Providence Rhode Island. Martin served Texas as one of the “Old Eighteen” defenders of the “Come take it cannon” in Gonzales.
January 7, 1892 - The agreement between The Galveston, La Porte and Houston Railway was chartered to build the two-mile bridge across Galveston Bay.
January 8, 1910 - German born school teacher/inventor Jacob Brodbeck , considered by many to be the first man to fly in an airplane, passed away. Almost 40 years before the Wright brothers, Brodbeck created what he termed an "airship" and attempted flight in Luckenbach on Septmeber 20, 1865. The airship, with a rudder, wings, and a water propeller powered by coiled springs in case of accidental landings on water, featured an enclosed space for the "aeronaut", a compass, and a barometer. Though no official records exist, the airship is said to have managed to lift off from the ground above 12 feet and fly a distance of about 100 feet before the coil came unwound and the ship crashed into a chicken coup injuring the inventor. Brodbeck's other before-their-time inventions: an ice-making machine (in 1869) and a self-winding clock. For more information please fly to www.texaslesstravelled.com.
January 9, 1907- Cordelia Sloan married Robert Duke, a foreman and later general manager of the XIT ranch. She became the first woman game warden in Texas in the 1920s.
January 10, 1929 - María de Hernández helped found the Orden Caballeros de América, an organization to advance civic and political causes for Mexican-Americans and immigrants in San Antonio.
January 11, 1954 - Hernández v. the State of Texas was brought before the Supreme Court, which reversed the murder conviction of Pete Hernández because no Hispanics had served on the jury.
January 12, 1875 - Crockett County was formed, and was named after the Alamo hero David Crockett.
January 13, 1871 - José Antonio Navarro, a leading Mexican participant in the Texas Revolution, and one of three Mexican signers of the Texas Declaration of Independence, passed away.
January 14, 1836 - Wiliam McDowell was sworn into the Texas Army. He rode to San Antonio with David Crockett and later died in the battle of the Alamo.
January 15, 1841 - The initial Houston and Austin Turnpike Company was chartered to lay out a road from Austin to Houston.
Bad Puns
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic alcoholic walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?"
"Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "Dam!".
15. And finally, there was the person who sent fifteen different puns to his friends,
with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic alcoholic walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?"
"Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!"
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "Dam!".
15. And finally, there was the person who sent fifteen different puns to his friends,
with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did
21 Rules to live by
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "God bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson .
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.
Safari
>>> A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her> faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.>> One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles> discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading> rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.>>>> The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some> bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the> bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about> to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious> leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?">> Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of> terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the> leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!">> Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby> tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for> protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him> heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something> must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans> and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.>> The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,> monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving> canine!>> Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back> and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog> sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them> yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says.>> "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another> leopard!>> Moral of this story....>>> Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth> and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.
Hmmmmmm
From the L.A. Times
1. 40% of all workers in L.A. County ( L.A. County has 10.2 million people)
are working for cash and not paying taxes. This was because they are
predominantly illegal immigrants, working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien
Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 25% of all inmates in California detention centers
are Mexican nationals here illegally.
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles
are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in L.A. are Spanish speaking.
10. In L.A. County 5.1 million people speak English.
3.9 million speak Spanish.
(There are 10.2 million people in L.A. County ).
(All the above from the Los Angeles Times)
Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare.
Over 70% of the United States ' annual population growth (and over 90% of California , Florida , and New York ) results from immigration.
The cost of immigration to the American taxpayer in 1997 was, (after subtracting taxes immigrants pay), a NET $70 BILLION/year, [Professor Donald Huddle, Rice University ]. The lifetime fiscal impact (taxes paid minus services used) for the average adult Mexican immigrant is a NEGATIVE number.
29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.
If they can come to this country to raise Hell and demonstrate by the thousands, WHY can't they take charge over the corruption in their own country?
We are a bunch of fools for letting this continue.
THE U.S. VS MEXICO
On February 15, 1998, the U.S. and Mexican soccer teams met at the Los Angeles
Coliseum. The crowd was overwhelmingly pro-Mexican even though most lived
in this country. They booed during the National Anthem and U.S. flags were held
upside down. As the match progressed, supporters of the U.S. team were insulted,
pelted with projectiles, punched and spat upon. Beer and trash were thrown at
the U.S. players before and after the match. The coach of the U.S. team, Steve
Sampson said, "This was the most painful experience I have ever had in this
profession."
Did you know that immigrants from Mexico and other non-European countries
can come to this country and get preferences in jobs, education, and government
contracts. It's called affirmative action or racial privilege. The Emperor of Japan
or the President of Mexico could migrate here and immediately be eligible for
special rights unavailable for Americans of European descent.
Corporate America has signed on to the idea that minorities and third world
immigrants should get special, privileged status. Some examples are Exxon,
Texaco, Merrill Lynch, Boeing, Paine Weber, Starbucks and many more.
DID YOU KNOW?
... that Mexico regularly intercedes on the side of the defense in criminal cases involving Mexican nationals?
... that Mexico has NEVER extradited a Mexican national accused of murder in the U.S. in spite of agreements to do so? According to the L.A. Times, Orange County , California is home to 275 gangs with 17,000 members, 98% of which are Mexican and Asian.
How's your county doing?
According to a New York Times article dated May 19, 1994, 20 years after
the great influx of legal immigrants from Southeast Asia , 30% are still on
welfare compared to 8% of households nationwide. A Wall Street Journal
editorial dated December 5, 1994 quotes law enforcement officials as stat-
ing that Asian mobsters are the "greatest criminal challenge the country
faces." Not bad for a group that is still under 5% of the population.
Is education important to you? Here are the words of a teacher who spent
over 20 years in the Los Angeles School system. "Imagine teachers in classes
containing 30-40 students of widely varying attention spans and motivation,
many of whom aren't fluent in English. Educators seek learning materials
likely to reach the majority of students and that means fewer words and
math problems and more pictures and multicultural references."
WHEN I WAS YOUNG
I remember hearing about the immigrants that came through Ellis Island .
They wanted to learn English. They wanted to breathe free. They wanted
to become Americans. Now, far too many immigrants come here with de-
mands. They demand to be taught in their own language. They demand spe-
cial privileges ... affirmative action. They demand ethnic studies that glorify their culture.
Now....Why can't we send them home??????
1. 40% of all workers in L.A. County ( L.A. County has 10.2 million people)
are working for cash and not paying taxes. This was because they are
predominantly illegal immigrants, working without a green card.
2. 95% of warrants for murder in Los Angeles are for illegal aliens.
3. 75% of people on the most wanted list in Los Angeles are illegal aliens.
4. Over 2/3 of all births in Los Angeles County are to illegal alien
Mexicans on Medi-Cal, whose births were paid for by taxpayers.
5. Nearly 25% of all inmates in California detention centers
are Mexican nationals here illegally.
6. Over 300,000 illegal aliens in Los Angeles County are living in garages.
7. The FBI reports half of all gang members in Los Angeles
are most likely illegal aliens from south of the border.
8. Nearly 60% of all occupants of HUD properties are illegal.
9. 21 radio stations in L.A. are Spanish speaking.
10. In L.A. County 5.1 million people speak English.
3.9 million speak Spanish.
(There are 10.2 million people in L.A. County ).
(All the above from the Los Angeles Times)
Less than 2% of illegal aliens are picking our crops, but 29% are on welfare.
Over 70% of the United States ' annual population growth (and over 90% of California , Florida , and New York ) results from immigration.
The cost of immigration to the American taxpayer in 1997 was, (after subtracting taxes immigrants pay), a NET $70 BILLION/year, [Professor Donald Huddle, Rice University ]. The lifetime fiscal impact (taxes paid minus services used) for the average adult Mexican immigrant is a NEGATIVE number.
29% of inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens.
If they can come to this country to raise Hell and demonstrate by the thousands, WHY can't they take charge over the corruption in their own country?
We are a bunch of fools for letting this continue.
THE U.S. VS MEXICO
On February 15, 1998, the U.S. and Mexican soccer teams met at the Los Angeles
Coliseum. The crowd was overwhelmingly pro-Mexican even though most lived
in this country. They booed during the National Anthem and U.S. flags were held
upside down. As the match progressed, supporters of the U.S. team were insulted,
pelted with projectiles, punched and spat upon. Beer and trash were thrown at
the U.S. players before and after the match. The coach of the U.S. team, Steve
Sampson said, "This was the most painful experience I have ever had in this
profession."
Did you know that immigrants from Mexico and other non-European countries
can come to this country and get preferences in jobs, education, and government
contracts. It's called affirmative action or racial privilege. The Emperor of Japan
or the President of Mexico could migrate here and immediately be eligible for
special rights unavailable for Americans of European descent.
Corporate America has signed on to the idea that minorities and third world
immigrants should get special, privileged status. Some examples are Exxon,
Texaco, Merrill Lynch, Boeing, Paine Weber, Starbucks and many more.
DID YOU KNOW?
... that Mexico regularly intercedes on the side of the defense in criminal cases involving Mexican nationals?
... that Mexico has NEVER extradited a Mexican national accused of murder in the U.S. in spite of agreements to do so? According to the L.A. Times, Orange County , California is home to 275 gangs with 17,000 members, 98% of which are Mexican and Asian.
How's your county doing?
According to a New York Times article dated May 19, 1994, 20 years after
the great influx of legal immigrants from Southeast Asia , 30% are still on
welfare compared to 8% of households nationwide. A Wall Street Journal
editorial dated December 5, 1994 quotes law enforcement officials as stat-
ing that Asian mobsters are the "greatest criminal challenge the country
faces." Not bad for a group that is still under 5% of the population.
Is education important to you? Here are the words of a teacher who spent
over 20 years in the Los Angeles School system. "Imagine teachers in classes
containing 30-40 students of widely varying attention spans and motivation,
many of whom aren't fluent in English. Educators seek learning materials
likely to reach the majority of students and that means fewer words and
math problems and more pictures and multicultural references."
WHEN I WAS YOUNG
I remember hearing about the immigrants that came through Ellis Island .
They wanted to learn English. They wanted to breathe free. They wanted
to become Americans. Now, far too many immigrants come here with de-
mands. They demand to be taught in their own language. They demand spe-
cial privileges ... affirmative action. They demand ethnic studies that glorify their culture.
Now....Why can't we send them home??????
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)