Thursday, June 21, 2007

Bathtub test

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and
this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what
the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?" 

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Does this make sense?

 Here is a REAL INTERVIEW with an illegal Mexican at a protest march in
Texas Trying to reason with an Illegal Mexican. This is good!

 Below is a good example of a discussion with a master of circular logic.
Don't be logical, don't respect the truth or your adversary, just say what
you think makes a new case when the previous case gets too difficult to
defend.

 On the streets of downtown
Houston, May 1, 2006. Jim Moore reporting for
a Houston TV station:

 Jim: Juan, I see that you and thousands of other protesters are marching
in the streets to demonstrate for your cause. Exactly what s your cause
and what do you expect to accomplish by this protest?

 Juan: We want our rights. We will show you how powerful we are. We will
bring
Houston to its knees!

 Jim: What rights?

 Juan: Our right to live here...legally. Our right to get all the
benefits you get.

 Jim: When did you come to the
United States?

 Juan: Six years ago. I crossed over the border at night with seven
other friends.

 Jim: Why did you come?

 Juan: For work. I can earn as much in a month as I could in a year in
Mexico. Besides, I get free health care, our Mexican children can go to
school free, if I lose my job I will get Welfare, and someday I will have
the Social Security. Nothing like that in
Mexico!

 Jim: Did you feel badly about breaking our immigration laws when you
came?

 Juan: No! Why should I feel bad I have a right to be here. I have a
right to amnesty. I paid lots of money for my Social Security and Green
Cards.

 Jim: How did you acquire those documents?

 Juan: >From a guy in
Dallas. He charged me a lot of money too.

 Jim: Did you know that those documents were forged?

 Juan: It is of no matter. I have a right to be here and work.

 Jim: What is the "right" you speak of?

 Juan: The right of all Aliens. It is found in your Constitution. Read
it!

 Jim: I have read it, but I do not remember it saying anything about
rights for Aliens.

 Juan: It is in that part where it says that all men have Alien rights,
like the right to pursue happiness. I wasn't happy in
Mexico, so I came
here.

 Jim: I think you are referring to the Declaration of Independence and
that document speaks to unalienable right ... Not Alien rights.

 Juan: Whatever.

 Jim: Since you are demanding to become an American citizen, why then are
you carrying a Mexican Flag?

 Juan: Because I am Mexican.

 Jim: But you said you want to be given amnesty.. To become a
US
citizen.

 Juan: No. This is not what we want. This is our country, a part of
Mexico that you Gringos stole from us. We want it returned to its rightful
owner.

 Jim: Juan, you are standing in
Texas. After wining the war with Mexico,
Texas became a Republic, and later Texans voted to join the USA. It was not
stolen from
Mexico.

 Juan: That is a Gringo lie.
Texas was stolen. So was California, New
Mexico
and Arizona. It is just like all the other stuff you Gringos steal,
like oil and babies. You are a country of thieves.

 Jim: Babies?You think we steal babies?

 Juan: Sure. Like from
Korea and Vietnam and China. I see them all over
the place. You let all these foreigners in, but try to keep us Mexicans
out. How is this fair?

 Jim: So, you really don't want to become an American citizen then.

 Juan: I just want my rights! Everyone has a right to live, work, and
speak their native language wherever and whenever they please. That's
another thing we demand All signs and official documents should be in
Spanish. Teachers must teach in Spanish. Soon, more people here in
Houston
will speak Spanish than English. It is our right!

 Jim: If I were to cross over the border into
Mexico without proper
documentation, what rights would I have there?

 Juan: None. You would probably go to jail, but that's different.

 Jim: How is it different? You said everyone has the right to liveBR>> wherever they please.

 Juan: You Gringos are a bunch of land grabbing thieves. Now you want
Mexico too? Mexico has its rights. You Gringos have no rights in Mexico.
Why would you want to go there anyway? There is no free medical service,
schools, or welfare there for foreigners such as you. You cannot even own
land in my country. Stay in the country of your birth.

 Jim: I can see that there is no way that we can agree on this issue.
Thank you for your comments.

 Juan: Viva
Mexico!!!

Friday, June 15, 2007

test for smart people

Ok people, here is a test for all you smart people out there.  There is a total of 4 questions.  I will post the first question, give your guess in the comment section then in a few days I will post the answer and the next question.

 

Ready….here we go.


 
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Redneck fish

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Eastern Oklahoma recently with
Two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its
Fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those
Fish?"
"Naw, sir", replied the redneck. "I ain't got none of them there
Licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?"

"Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let
'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right
Back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home

""That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that."
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, "It's
The truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works."
"O. K.", said the warden. "I've got to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the warden says, "Well?"
"Well, what?", says the redneck.
The warden says, "When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH", replied the warden!
"What fish?", replied the redneck.

Moral of the story:
We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as
Some government employees 

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Mothers Who Drugged Us!

 The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a

 Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the

 adjoining county and

 he asked me a rhetorical question,

 

 ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?''

 

 I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:

 

 I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for

 weddings and funerals.

 

 I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the

 weather.

 

 I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.  I was also

 drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, did not

 speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I

 didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

 

 I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap

 if I uttered a profanity.

 I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and

 cockleburs out of dad's fields.

 I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out

 some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline,

 or chop some firewood and, if my mother had ever known that I took a

 single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to

 the woodshed.

 Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in

 everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine,

 crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug

 problem, America would be a better place.

 

 ~author unknown~

 

 God bless the parents who drugged us.

 

Year 1907

Who knew at the time how pertinent his speach would be today?


The year was 1907......but the speaker knew what he was talking
about.

Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN
in 1907.

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant
who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself
to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for
it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed,
or birthplace, or origin.. But this is predicated upon the person's
becoming in every facet an American. But as an American...There can be
no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but
something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one
flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and
that is the English language... And we have room for but one sole
loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Students right to pray

Here is the new act that just passed the state house and senate concerning students and religion.

 

http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/tlodocs/80R/billtext/doc/HB03678I.doc

 

 

To all those anti-religion, I’m offended because I saw a bible, tree huggin hippie cry baby freaks….put this in your pipe and smoke it !!!!!!!!

 

Thursday, May 24, 2007

This is sad but true!!!

A Modern Parable.

A Japanese company (
Toyota ) and an American company ( Ford )
decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River . Both teams
practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate
the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior
management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had eight people steering and one
person rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a
consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second
opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the
boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent
another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was
totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering
superintendents and one assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the one
person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called
the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free
pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes
and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor
performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and
canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was
distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's
racing team was out-sourced to India.

Sadly, The End.

Sad, but oh so true! Here's something else to think about: Ford has
spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US,
claiming they can't make money paying American wages. Toyota has spent
the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US .

The last quarter's results: Toyota makes 4 billion in profits while Ford
racked up 9 billion in losses. Ford folks are still scratching their heads.


IF THIS WASN'T SO SAD IT MIGHT BE FUNNY !!!!

True


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Disrespect to our Flag and Nation

You will not see this heart-stopping photo on the front page of the NY Times or on the lead story of the major news networks. The protestors put up the Mexican flag over the American flag flying upside down at Montebello High School in California .








I predict this stunt will be the nail in the coffin of any guest-worker/amnesty plan on the table in Washington .. The image of the American flag subsumed to another and turned upside down on American soil is already spreading on Internet forums and via e-mail.

Pass this along to every American citizen in your address books and to every representative in the state and federal government. If you choose to remain uninvolved, do not be amazed when you no longer have a nation to call your own nor anything you have worked for left since it will be "redistributed" to the activists while you are so peacefully staying out of the "fray". Check history, it is full of nations/empires that disappeared when its citizens no longer held their core beliefs and values. One person CAN make a difference. One plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one.........


The battle for our secure borders and immigration laws that actually mean something, however, hasn't even begun.






And a note from yours truly

This is utterly disrespectful to our nation and our flag. If you love Mexico so dang much then why aren't you living there. GO HOME. Our men and women do not serve to protect idiots like you nor did some of them give their lives so you could fly the mexican flag above MY upside down flag. These people should be charged with treason and threating the sovereignty. Or they should be deported immediately.

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Tom

Are You Smarter Than a Fourth-grader?

OK Class,

It's time for your
U.S. Geography Test!

You must drag and drop all 48 states in
the allotted time to be promoted to the 4th grade.

 

I'll give you a clue: The timer starts as soon as the page is loaded so don't dawdle.

Click the webpage below... Ready... Begin!



http://www.pibmug.com/files/map_test.swf

 

 

 




Take the Internet to Go: Yahoo!Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more.

Buffet Concert








Me and the wifey at the concert.









The gang after the concert sober....well maybe not

Buffet Concert at Minute Maid Park

Mother

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom, this is beautiful.
For those of us who aren't, this is even more beautiful.
For those who are moms, you'll love this.

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked.
And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it.. But the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.
So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."
Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there." So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."
And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I've given them strength."
And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light. " And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness.
And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God." And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage.
And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."
And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates." And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her.

And they said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence......." Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop. She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space... not even death!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Who's working anyway?

The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.


There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.


Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.


2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama
Bin-Laden which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.


Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.


At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.


Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.


You and me.

And there you are, sitting on your rear end, at your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

 

 


 

=

Friday, May 04, 2007

Amen

A  funny parallel... 
  
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. 
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the 
continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. 
 
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the 
table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: 
on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. 

Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive  bomb me and try to peck me 
even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were 
boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all 
hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. 
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down 
the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their 
mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. 
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quite, serene and no one 
demanding their rights to a free meal. 
 

 Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free 
medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen. 
Then  the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to 
pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to 
wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: you child's 2nd grade 
class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak 
English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" 
to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 
"Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights 
and free liberties. 
 

Maybe it's time for the  government to take down the bird feeder!!!! 
  
  
  
  
 

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Life on a Train

A while back, I read a very interesting story that compared life to a train ride or a series of train rides

 

Life is like a train ride, it read. We get on.  We ride.  We get off.

We get back on and ride some more. 

There are accidents and there are delays.  At certain stops there are surprises.  Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.

When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey.  Those people are our parents.

Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them.  They too have journeys they must complete.  We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.

There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.

These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love and cherish.

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour.  They will just go merrily along.

Others, will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey.

Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off….

Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever traveled along with you or ever crossed your path…

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own.

Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway.

Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.

That’s okay…everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes.

We must strive to make the best of it…no matter what…

We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.

Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.

We too may hesitate, even trip…hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding.

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come.  Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop.  Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.

Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop….I’m sure of it!

My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful.  Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing.  But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else.  They’ll all be Carrying their baggage…most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train.

I’ll be glad to see them again.  I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage…and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.

We’re all on this train ride together.  Above all, we should try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Smiles

Just a quick note for all of you out there in never-never land that have kids.

 

First thing in the morning have you ever woken up your child when they were a baby?  Some mornings I get this pleasure.  Let me tell you my experience this morning.  

 

Madison woke up about 4 am crying for some reason.  After I checked on her and calmed her down she went right back to sleep.  At this point I was really tired and a little frustrated to be honest.  She usually does not wake up this early.  So at about 6:30 am I went to wake her up so she could eat and we could start our day.  I am not going to lie, I was exhausted and not moving very fast since I never really fell all the way back to sleep after I woke up.  As the water was warming for her bottle I went to wake her up.  She was sleeping on her back with her arms straight up by her head like someone was sticking her up.  It’s kind of a funny site to see.  Anyway, I picked her up and put her on the changing pad.  She tucked her legs and arms close to her body and then extended them for a big stretch.  As she slowly starts to open her eyes I can see she is trying to focus in on me. 

 

Now here is the best part.  Once she has focused in on me she gave me the biggest smile!!!!!  “Well good morning sunshine” I said to her.  She responded with some coos.  This is the best feeling in the world and this description just doesn’t do it justice.  No matter what is going on in the world, stress at work, being exhausted and frustrated or whatever, it is all washed away by this one simple smile of my daughter.  It is such a wonderful feeling and the most beautiful site to see.

 

So as I start the day I know that no matter what happens my daughter will always have a smile for me to make everything better. 

 

 

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

I Am A *Toddler*

 

I AM A *TODDLER*

If it's on, I must turn it off.
If it's off, I must turn it on.
If it's folded, I must unfold it.
If it's high, it must be reached.
If it's shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it's pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it's plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it's not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it's in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on
the floor.
If it's closed, it must be opened.
If it doesn't open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it's a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, computer
monitor, or table.
If it's full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it's empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it's a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it's a stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in
without protest and must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it's paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it's YOUR toothbrush, it must be inserted into MY mouth.
If it's MY toothbrush, it must be inserted into YOUR mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it's a phone, I must talk into it, unless there is someone on the
other end.
If it's a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it's not food, it must be tasted.
If it's food, it must NOT be tasted.
If it has a tail, I must yank it.
If Mommy wants me to come, I must run away.
If Mommy wants me to go away, I must CLING ON FOR DEAR LIFE.
If it's sticky, it must go in my hair.
If it's bath time, I must run around naked until I'm caught.

I Owe My Mother

 

 

 

 

These are great. How many have you heard when you were a kid?



           I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"

 

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,!
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million tim es.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think
I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables,
you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day! you'll have kids, and I hope
they turn out just like you