Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008:

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.

7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N. and opening song by the Dixie Chicks

7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:35 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging and Cat show

8:15 P.M. Gay Wedding - Barney Frank, presiding.

8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan & Susan Sarandon.

9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender - French President Jacques Chirac

9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.

9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn.

9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military - a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.

9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presents Truth in Broadcasting award by Michael Moore.

9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:00 P.M. How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers - Howard Dean.

10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahmadinejad.

11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents the Internet.

11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry.

11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home