Here is the new act that just passed the state house and senate concerning students and religion.
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/tlodocs/80R/billtext/doc/HB03678I.doc
To all those anti-religion, I’m offended because I saw a bible, tree huggin hippie cry baby freaks….put this in your pipe and smoke it !!!!!!!!
A Modern Parable.
A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company ( Ford )
decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River . Both teams
practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate
the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior
management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.
Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team had eight people steering and one
person rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a
consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second
opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the
boat, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent
another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was
totally reorganized to four steering supervisors, three area steering
superintendents and one assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the one
person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called
the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free
pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes
and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor
performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and
canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was
distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's
racing team was out-sourced to India.
Sadly, The End.
Sad, but oh so true! Here's something else to think about: Ford has
spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US,
claiming they can't make money paying American wages. Toyota has spent
the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US .
The last quarter's results: Toyota makes 4 billion in profits while Ford
racked up 9 billion in losses. Ford folks are still scratching their heads.
IF THIS WASN'T SO SAD IT MIGHT BE FUNNY !!!!
I predict this stunt will be the nail in the coffin of any guest-worker/amnesty plan on the table in Washington .. The image of the American flag subsumed to another and turned upside down on American soil is already spreading on Internet forums and via e-mail.
Pass this along to every American citizen in your address books and to every representative in the state and federal government. If you choose to remain uninvolved, do not be amazed when you no longer have a nation to call your own nor anything you have worked for left since it will be "redistributed" to the activists while you are so peacefully staying out of the "fray". Check history, it is full of nations/empires that disappeared when its citizens no longer held their core beliefs and values. One person CAN make a difference. One plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one.........
The battle for our secure borders and immigration laws that actually mean something, however, hasn't even begun.
And a note from yours truly
This is utterly disrespectful to our nation and our flag. If you love Mexico so dang much then why aren't you living there. GO HOME. Our men and women do not serve to protect idiots like you nor did some of them give their lives so you could fly the mexican flag above MY upside down flag. These people should be charged with treason and threating the sovereignty. Or they should be deported immediately.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Tom
I'll give you a clue: The timer starts as soon as the page is loaded so don't dawdle.
Click the webpage below... Ready... Begin!
http://www.pibmug.com/files/map_test.swf
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama
Bin-Laden which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city
governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are, sitting on your rear end, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
=
A funny parallel...
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the
continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the
table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere:
on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere.
Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me
even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were
boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all
hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down
the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their
mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quite, serene and no one
demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free
medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen.
Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to
pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to
wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: you child's 2nd grade
class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak
English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one"
to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than
"Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights
and free liberties.
Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder!!!!
A while back, I read a very interesting story that compared life to a train ride or a series of train rides
Life is like a train ride, it read. We get on. We ride. We get off.
We get back on and ride some more.
There are accidents and there are delays. At certain stops there are surprises. Some of these will translate into great moments of joy, some will result in profound sorrow.
When we are born and we first board the train, we meet people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey. Those people are our parents.
Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them. They too have journeys they must complete. We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence.
There are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn.
These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintances, whom we will learn to love and cherish.
Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour. They will just go merrily along.
Others, will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey.
Others still, will linger on to offer a helping hand to anyone in need.
Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off….
Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever traveled along with you or ever crossed your path…
We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own.
Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway.
Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken.
That’s okay…everyone’s journey will be filled with hopes, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes.
We must strive to make the best of it…no matter what…
We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone.
Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help.
We too may hesitate, even trip…hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding.
The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come. Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop. Not even those sitting in the seat next to us.
Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop….I’m sure of it!
My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful. Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing. But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else. They’ll all be Carrying their baggage…most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train.
I’ll be glad to see them again. I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage…and to have enriched their lives, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life.
We’re all on this train ride together. Above all, we should try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.
Just a quick note for all of you out there in never-never land that have kids.
First thing in the morning have you ever woken up your child when they were a baby? Some mornings I get this pleasure. Let me tell you my experience this morning.
Madison woke up about 4 am crying for some reason. After I checked on her and calmed her down she went right back to sleep. At this point I was really tired and a little frustrated to be honest. She usually does not wake up this early. So at about 6:30 am I went to wake her up so she could eat and we could start our day. I am not going to lie, I was exhausted and not moving very fast since I never really fell all the way back to sleep after I woke up. As the water was warming for her bottle I went to wake her up. She was sleeping on her back with her arms straight up by her head like someone was sticking her up. It’s kind of a funny site to see. Anyway, I picked her up and put her on the changing pad. She tucked her legs and arms close to her body and then extended them for a big stretch. As she slowly starts to open her eyes I can see she is trying to focus in on me.
Now here is the best part. Once she has focused in on me she gave me the biggest smile!!!!! “Well good morning sunshine” I said to her. She responded with some coos. This is the best feeling in the world and this description just doesn’t do it justice. No matter what is going on in the world, stress at work, being exhausted and frustrated or whatever, it is all washed away by this one simple smile of my daughter. It is such a wonderful feeling and the most beautiful site to see.
So as I start the day I know that no matter what happens my daughter will always have a smile for me to make everything better.
I AM A *TODDLER*
If it's on, I must turn it off.
If it's off, I must turn it on.
If it's folded, I must unfold it.
If it's high, it must be reached.
If it's shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it's pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it's plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it's not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it's in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on
the floor.
If it's closed, it must be opened.
If it doesn't open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it's a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, computer
monitor, or table.
If it's full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it's empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it's a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it's a stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in
without protest and must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it's paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it's YOUR toothbrush, it must be inserted into MY mouth.
If it's MY toothbrush, it must be inserted into YOUR mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it's a phone, I must talk into it, unless there is someone on the
other end.
If it's a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it's not food, it must be tasted.
If it's food, it must NOT be tasted.
If it has a tail, I must yank it.
If Mommy wants me to come, I must run away.
If Mommy wants me to go away, I must CLING ON FOR DEAR LIFE.
If it's sticky, it must go in my hair.
If it's bath time, I must run around naked until I'm caught.
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These are great. How many have you heard when you were a kid?
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,!
in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million tim es.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think
I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables,
you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day! you'll have kids, and I hope
they turn out just like you
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A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon!
