Little Eyes

A message every adult should read, because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a Prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted me to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."

LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT. Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher or friend) influences the life of a child. How will you touch the life of someone today?

This is how it's done

 

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!" replies the government official. And that friends, is how it all works!

 

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas...

  

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas.   

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas.

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use

them, you may live in Texas.   

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph and you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Texas.

If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Texas.

If you actually understand these jokes you definitely live in Texas.

 

Why Men Are Never Depressed

Men Are Just Happier People

 

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom

because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn
a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux  rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of  thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of  shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on

December 24 in 25 minutes.

analogy

Maybe I have posted this before…maybe I haven’t.  These days I can’t remember

 

 

QUITE AN ANALOGY

 

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous

 

flow of free and easily accessible food.

 

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above

 

the table, and next to the barbecue.

 

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere.

 

Then some of the birds turned mean:

 

They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out

 

of my own pocket.

 

And others birds were boisterous and loud:

 

They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

 

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore.

 

I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone.

 

I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

 

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

 

Now let's see....... our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

 

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands.

 

Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

 

Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.